Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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