just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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