I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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