And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
