How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
