Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
