you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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