dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
