If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize