and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
