3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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