How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
God I need to hump something, right now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
