Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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