I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
