I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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