good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
