Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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