I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize