Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize