Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
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i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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