I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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