I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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