i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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