i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize