O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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