Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
