So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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