Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
