He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
