Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
