i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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