This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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