just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
