i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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