True but thats because hes a fetus.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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