This girl is more easily done than said...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
