I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
