Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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