just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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