They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize