Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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