absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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