bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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