32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize