What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So many bounce houses so little time
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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