Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You took a bar mat shot.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
