I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
