He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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