its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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