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• (817): View more from Texas

  MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (530): View more from California

  so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  But what if it got lost?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.

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