rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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