I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice