He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.