forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.