you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
