party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
