Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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