Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
