And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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