This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
