38 yer olds are good kisserssss
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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