I seem to have left my pride at pride
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
