I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
