I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
