Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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