Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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